Paid in Pancakes

Earlier this summer I altered a dress for a lovely older woman who was celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary. I'm a sucker for stories, and hers really touched my heart.

She told me about how she and her husband had been through so much together, especially in the last 10 years--the tragic death of their adult son, her battle with breast cancer, her husband's battle with diabetes that had made him wheelchair bound, and all the financial struggles that came along with it. She was nearly in tears when she told me how much it meant to her that they had made it to this milestone.

She had me tearing up right along with her in the fitting. When it came to discussing the cost of the alterations, I couldn't help but offer to do them at no cost to her.

It merely cost me my time. Don't get me wrong--my time is very valuable. In this case, however, the kindness I was able to offer was worth so much more.

I received a kind card in the mail a few days later from her thanking me profusely. Inside, she included a gift certificate to a waffle house ( mind you, not THE Waffle House--I'll have to wait until my next trip out East.) I still get a little misty eyed thinking about it.

Today, on my husband and my first anniversary, we were able to take advantage of her kindness. Best damn pancakes ever. Seriously.

Oh, and the warm and fuzzy feeling that this story fills me with isn't so bad either.

Haute mess

Today's project: 

Take in at side seams, hem, bustle, and alter the sleeves (which are currently altered and done.  These are a story for another day.) 

 

The bride who brought me this dress was so excited about her experience at a haute couture botique in San Fransisco.  She went on and on about how wonderful it was not to have to shop at a place like (gasp!) David's Bridal, and how lucky she was to have a custom design

I am fascinated by the world of couture (by definition, the business of designing, making, and selling highly fashionable, usually custom-made clothing for women.)  Would I say this dress is worthy of the distinction of haute couture?  No. 

My understanding of haute couture is that it is the highest form of fashion forward dressmaking and fine sewing.  Perhaps I don't have my ear to the ground when it comes to fashion, but I can recognize crap work when I see it.  

I am actually appalled by some of the techniques used on this dress.  There are 3 different kinds of linings used.  Is it typical to mix up the type of lining for different parts?  Yes.  But the combination of types of fabrics and  colors (yes, you see that right, colors) really makes it look like they grabbed up some scraps from the floor to finish off the different parts.  It makes my artistic sensibilities ache.  

This is one of the bra pads: 

That's kinda gross. 

And finally, the straw that broke the camels back (aka, the part of the dress that inspired me to write this), the hemline in the front has lace applique. 

  

Pretty, right?  (note--I have hemmed the under layer, and am now altering the top layer to work with it.)  But is it symmetrical?  Nope. 

To me, one of the hallmarks of great work is when things line up and follow a logical symmetry (unless, of course, the dress is not intended to have that quality.)  This dress is hot mess of asymmetrical trim, seams not lining up, different measurements, messing sewing, and very odd (and sloppy) fabric choices.  Suffice to say, I am a fan of patterns, symmetry, and neatness.

Am I being judgemental?  Absolutely!  It's one of the most fun parts of doing bridal alterations!  You get to see the beautiful!  The ugly!  The questionable! 

Does it matter in the grand scheme of things?  Hell no!  The dress is exactly what the bride wants to wear on her special day.  Symmetry be damned!

Reason #5329 not to buy a knock off dress on e-bay.

It smells like cat piss.

It doesn't smell like cat piss initially.  When you first see it, it is a vision in shiny satin fabric that has the same basic style lines as the dress you tried on at the store.  As your vision clears, the shiny fabric takes on a too shiny, polyester* glow.

And then you notice the cheap beading.  And the side seams which don't quite meet up.  

When does the magic truely meld?  When you first take out and iron to press out a seam you have just sewn.  Nasty.

The extra crappy part--polyester doesn't respond well to steaming.  So I was lucky enough to spend 45 golden minutes reveling in the sweet smell of urine, as if your dear cat had pissed all over the golden pillow it sits atop and then left it in the sun all day.

*Why does polyester seem to glow, you ask?  It's all about how the filament (thread) is created.  Poly(many) ester (basic organic chemical compound) is made by mixing petroleum by products, coal byproducts, air and water and then taking the vat of chemical-ly goodness and shooting it out into one smooth fiber.  The smoothenss of the surface of the filament (which is very non-porous, which is one of the reasons it doesn't breath.  You know, that whole "oil and water don't mix" thing) gives it a glow that is not replicated in natural fibers.

I'm not a chemist, so if you want to know more, check with the experts.  This is a great overview:     http://www.madehow.com/Volume-2/Polyester.html.

Vanity by the numbers

Two mama stories:  

Yesterday, I had a mother of the groom bring a dress over for a consult.  She had "ordered a 12" but she swore it was "more like an 11."   However, "I'm usually a 16, but thought I could make it to at least a 14" by the time this wedding came along.  She wanted to know if putting a corset back into the dress was a) a possibility; and b) if it would look good.

I have time this week (thank you, summer!) so yes, it's a possibility, but to be perfectly honest, any corseting below the waistline would look like she bought a dress that was too small and was trying to make do.  She agreed, and I have never been so happy to see someone head off into the sunset with her feet firmly planted in reality.

The worst client I've ever had was a mother of the bride who I'm sure has not been ever told no in her life.  I always find it so strange when I meet someone who is old enough to be my mother has the maturity level of someone in middle school.  Perhaps it speaks volumes about my state of mind that I equate immaturity with spoiled, but this woman seemed to encompass both traits.

"I'm a size 18 on top and a size 12 on the bottom, so I ordered a 14."  This math does not equate.   I explained everything I could do to make it fit better, and suggested that she perhaps re-evaluate her choice.  "I'm a 12, so a 14 should certainly fit."

So after approximately 24 hours of work,  6 (yes, that's right, SIX as opposed to 2 - 3) appointments,  she sat in my office crying because I had ruined her dress, ruined the wedding, and ruined any chance for her to have a decent picture of her and her daughter on her wedding day. (On a redeeming note, her daughter also brought me her dress and wished me luck dealing with her mom.)

Altering clothing does not equal plastic surgery.  If you have little chicken wing folds on your armpits and you have not purchased a dress to cover that, I can't fix it.  I can't magically make more fabric appear.

To hell with sizes.  Buy what fits--and when in doubt, but a size larger.

Hiatus, Day 1

Ahh, my first day of summer hiatus from the university.  A date with a hammock, a margarita, and Vogue magazine, right?  Not this time.  Here are some stats from Day 1.

Start time:  6:40 a.m.

Break (ironically, to go to work at the university):  11:30 - 1:30

End time:  After my 7 pm appointment gets here....eventually.  This one is not so good at being on time.  

Total Appointments:  5

Drop offs:  4

Pickup:  1 (I hope---that's what my 7 pm...should she choose to show up...will be...)

Full dresses altered:  3

Partial alterations:  1

Number of new appointments set up:  3

Broken needles:  2

Trips to Hancock Fabrics:  1

Number of times I swept the floor:  6

Number of times I washed my hands:  25ish

Number of times I swore at my machine: 14,340

Podcasts listened to:  8 (3 episodes of Planet Money, 1 episode of the Motley Fool, 1 episode of Michael Feldman's Wad'ya know, 1 episode of This American Life, 2 episodes of A Prairie Home Companion)

Tips to the mailbox:  3 (it's a good distraction)

Margaritas desired:  35

Margaritas drank:  0 

Cups of coffee drank:  8

Total level of crazy on a scale of 1 - 10:  5

Not too shabby for day 1.

The real question, however, is how the #%(*&! I manage this during the school year.  Wow.   

"By Appointment Only"

 I realize I bring this on myself.

Today has been a challenge.  At the beginning of my day, my schedule was as follows:
12:15 Maids dress #1 drop off for alterations
1:00 Bridal gown drop off for pressing
6:00 Maids dress #2 drop off for alterations
6:30 Maids dress #3 check in fitting
7:00 Maids dress #4 pick up

What actually happened:
12:15 Canceled at last minute
1:00  Rescheduled for pickup at alternate location at 3:00, then for a later drop off at 5:30, and arrived smack in the middle of my 6:00 fitting that arrived 15 minutes late
6:30 Texts to say she can't come until 7:30
My 7:00 is still holding strong...

I realize I bring this on myself.  Someday, when I win the lotto, quit my day job, and procure an office outside my home, I'll switch to a system where I have set drop in hours.  A girl can dream...

Caring and Sharing

“How long have you been engaged?”  is a very typical question that began a very typical fitting.  Sometimes the answer you get is a nothing more than a business-like statement of fact.  Sometimes, though, you find this connection with a bride that leads her to answer more fully.  If you’re lucky, you get a glimpse into a slice of life that you’ve never even imagined. Last Tuesday, I got lucky.

“We’ve been engaged for 3 years.  We were supposed to be married last September, but postponed the wedding  because of my brother’s passing.”  She continued on to tell me the story of her brother who had died after a long battle with cancer.  The story itself was sad, but what struck me was the information she shared about his care during the last stages of his life. 

She described how difficult it was for him to get end of life care here in the valley.  When he was in the Bay area, he was able to get the care he needed relatively nearby.  But as his time here on earth got shorter, he had to travel farther and farther to get the care he needed.  How awful to have such little time left and have to spend it in the car, traveling up and down the dusty, dry, unscenic 99.  

Most of this conversation came out when I asked her what degree she is persuing.  She hopes to use her sociology degree to begin a non-profit that will improve end of life care for cancer patients and to alleviate some of the burden of travel during those last painful months.   Her ability to so calmly and clearly state her goals and story was inspiring.   

I woke up the next morning still enamored with her story.  I admire her her dedication to this mission, openess, and gentle, clear style of communication uplifting.  (Ironically, these are some of the same traits that make her an ideal client.)

Her dress was beautiful.  It was a ruched through the bodice which pleated down into a very graceful bubble skirt.  The trumpet style is being changed into more of a mermaid look, and a strap that is akin to a cascade of flowers will fall over one shoulder and gracefully fade in to the bodice.  How exciting to meet a bride who can envision what a dress with good bones can look like with a bit of restyling.  It is a refreshing change of pace, and I’m thrilled to see what the dress will ultimately become. 

Mostly, I am grateful to make something beautiful for someone with such a beautiful heart.